Moving

We are moving this week. This, no I am not looking forward to it. Efrain wants to save until we have a down payment for a house. Hopefully by then I will have found a job and will be working. A house is my dream. When I close my eyes I see us in a house, a yard to play with my kids, and space to move around and do as I please. I definitely want more kids, but I will not bring more children into my parents house. I want "going to grandmas" to be a special trip. Not Living at grandmas. I had planned on not staying longer than a year or so. Now, I'm not so sure that's how it will turn out. ughhhh. 

One day, though, I will have my house. 

I am currently training with my sister to run a 5k. She can run a lot farther, she's done a half marathon. This is a big step for me. I will be running non stop 3 miles in July. Yippee. I am getting close... which reminds me, I gotta go running. 

Why is it so important to speak to someone who doesn't have the time or the motivation to actually see you??

This is what I have come to believe about cell phones. I just text and text and text, but how many of these people actually care, or would be unaffected if I stopped? 

I am having a REALLY hard time dealing with life right now. I don't want to sound all emo, it's just that I am incredibly lonely. I sit with my daughter in our apartment all day, and the only social interaction I get is the television, texts, or my mom. Aleeya and I try to go outside and enjoy the summer, but my days get incredibly long. I am not happy. Nobody actually has the time or the motivation to be with me. 

Today, I was socially engaged by my sister in law. She came over to give me something for the wedding. However, her english is very poor, and so we both stared at the TV and listened to Aleeya for 2 hours. I guess she finally decided to call it quits, and left. 

I love my daughter, soo much. And I still love Efrain. He is my best friend. However, I can't help but to miss my old life, and my old friends. I think about it daily, and it does no good for my state of mind.

"Innocence is over

Over

Ignorance is spoken
Spoken

Confidence is broken
Broken

Sustenance is stolen
Stolen

Arrogance is potent
Potent, yeah

Yeah, What I see is unreal
I've written my own part
Eat of the apple, so young
I'm crawling back to start

I repent tomorrow
Tomorrow

I suspend my sorrow
Sorrow, yeah

Yeah, What I see is unreal
I've written my own part
Eat of the apple, so young
I'm crawling back to start

A romance is fallen
Fallen

Recommend you borrow
Borrow, yeah

Yeah, What I see is unreal
I've written my own part
Eat of the apple, so young
I'm crawling back to start"

~Rotten Apple, 

Alice in Chains

Happily unhappy

Well, life is going by. Am I happy? No, not really. Don't get me wrong, I love my hubby x9182374716857. He is my best friend and everything to me. I love Aleeya too, she is my precious little world. But, I'm having problems with so many things. I hate where I live, I hate being so lonely all the time, and I really hate not having friends to hang out with. I feel like I have everything that I wanted in life, but even with a new family, I have never, ever been so alone. Efrain just works, and works, and works. I am with him 2 nights a week..... and one of those he usually spends catching up on the sleep he lost during the week. I just want to see him, and be with him so bad. He tells me he will quit on of his jobs once he saves adequate dinero. I want Aleeya to know him like she knows me.... She is always calm with me and seems to want to be with me. I want her to feel the same with her dad.

    We have made the decision to move...... um...... into my parents house. Believe me, this is the LAST place I wanna live... like LAST. But Efra wants to save money... and this will help us do so. We will probably move out next summer to hopefully a townhome. i just don't know how I will tolerate my dad. dun dun dun

Anyway, I have to go rescue Aleeya, she is crying... and my less than sober father is trying to pacify her. Not working to say the least