Pregnancy- The End

It didn't take long before pregnancy became really tiresome. I was going to a community college taking like 3 classes, and it was starting to become a pain in my ass for like 3 main reasons. Number 1- I was UNCOMFORTABLE. I was huge and could not sit in a hard desk for more than 10 minutes. But I had no choice. It was horrible and I went home every night sore and stiff and wanting to bathe for like an hour. Number 2- Everyone stares. UGH. No one who doesn't know me bothers to ask me how I'm doing, when I'm due, etc. Everyone stares and I guess I'm kinda insecure, so I feel super judged a lot too. I hate that feeling. And feeling like that makes me hate everyone around me. Number 3- The horrible question: What are you Having? it's NEVER "are you having a boy or girl?" it's always just "what are you having." First of all it's annoying after awhile, and second of all, What do you mean what am i having??? It's a baby.. ("um, i think it's  puppy...?") WTF. 

The worst part of the whole thing... was that I was only 18, living a normal life with my boy and my friends, but when I got pregnant, I felt like I lost friends. I still don't really know what it is. Suddenly I was like outcasted. I was no longer invited to go out with my friends, and soon we lost contact all together. I think the more they started to hang out with other people the more they forgot about the pregnant chick who now needs to spend more time with her boyfriend for emotional reasons. I was so lonely, jealous, and altogether lost. To this day, sometimes I feel like they're making an effort, but it hasn't been the same since, and I don't know if it ever will be. 

Cravings. They were not that of food. The first thing- sponges. I wanted to hold and feel and squeeze regular kitchen sponges. I had a huge desire to buy them when we were at the store, and just feel the dry hard sponge on my hands and my skin. Then I discovered the texture of Towels. OMG I loved it. I wanted to lay and roll in towels. But soon I discovered how amazing fabric softener smelled. but why not combine these? I became absolutely obsessed with towels drenched in fabric softener. I loved to wash my towels, use capfuls of softener, and then smell them. In my closet I had all of my towels arranged with a fabric sheet layered in between each of the towels. Wow it was amazing. Soon I discovered I was obsessed with cleaning everything with products from top to bottom. I loved my cleaning products and my fabreeze. It was ridiculous. Efrain and I had just moved into our apartment in December and I swear Ours was the cleanest room in the building. 

By the last month, I was having braxton hicks contractions all the time, and felt like i would never know if i was Actually in labor. I was sore and miserable and took it out on everyone. pregnancy just got worse and worse and I HATED every second of it. I started to search for natural induction methods online. I think me and my boyfriend had sex like everyday for the last 2 weeks of it, even tho i was NOT into it AT ALL. It was the farthest thing from my mind.... but i was DESPERATE to get this kid out. Over the weekend I made red raspberry leaf iced tea, and drank it all weekend. My membranes were scraped... and it did nothing. I was close to trying castor oil.. too close... when finally something happened......